Getting Old
Friday, September 17, 2010 at 12:51PM 
This morning our old lady golden had a seizure. She has them every now and then but this one was more acute. Usually she doesn't even get up till afternoon but today she wanted to come down 1st thing. She must have known. Then she had 2 more. She's never had 3 in a morning.
While this was going on, Fiona who is in this photo snuggled, licked and tried to comfort her the last 2 times it occured. Red Adair tried to pull her tail as if to say, come play.
It's hard getting old.
What is hard is figuring out the time to say enough. It's not an easy process especially when she played tug just an hour ago with Red. It's the 1st time she has played tug in a long time. She plays with Terra wrestling but puppies are magic for her. I can't explain. They appear to muster something genuinely fun in her. She smiles and tunes in to them like it was her own trying to teach and play and enjoy. I guess once a mother always a mother.
Whitney never had pups while she was with us but we heard she had too many - something we could never do. From research we did she went from breeder to breeder and almost died her last 2 litters. Why someone tried to breed her again we will never know but they can't have been thinking of her. If I almost lost a dog due to breeding, they would not be bred again. Only healthy dogs should be bred but there are people that it is about them not the dog. How you can bring a dog into your life and not love them enough to want the best for them, I don't know. But it happens with puppy mills...people who think of them as ONLY dogs. (sigh) To us they are so much more - family members who each bring something special and rewarding to your life.
When we got her she was a rescue hardly in any condition to do much and afraid of the world. With patience we taught her that life can be fun when you rid yourself of your fears and embrace the fun. It looks like that lesson has remained even though her eyes are cloudy, her heart is still open and wide and receptive to the pups.
They say the time is right to say enough when they are no longer having 'fun' but do you tend to see it even if it is not there - is it about you and not them? It's important to honestly explore this issue but it's not easy. Two years ago when she stopped walking and Nathan took her in the pool daily and got her walking and playing - well I thought it was time then.
It's not fun getting old but it's also nice to know that from pup to older havanese, they do give her life more meaning and we hope we do too.
Not to be too much of a downer...just hard and so much responsibility - doing it for them not you. We all eventually have to face it if we have canines in our lives.
And as I type, the crew is all rallied around her sleeping around her while she sleeps. What are they trying to tell me? I look for answers.
Reader Comments (4)
This is really hard stuff. My heart goes out to you. Whitney has been a very lucky girl since she came to live at your house. Whatever you do for her will be the right thing. Your hearts are golden.
I am so sad tonight reading this, I cried and cried.....
Your blog touched me so much that I had a dream last night about you and your crew, all rallying around Whitney. God bless you guys! It is by far the hardest journey one has to make. You are such a beautiful soul!
Darlah - I just read about Whitney. My heart goes out to you. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts over the next while.....