Emotions
When you have a fading puppy, you wake up in the morning with a sense of - will there be loss today. You worry about the mom and in this case it will be Spirit that will feel the loss not Willow. Willow seems to know but she is not attentive to her. Spirit tries everything to get the pup to rally. It is not rallying. This morning I fed and knew I was holding a fading puppy. Can be today - can be tomorrow. For whatever reason it is not absorbing its nutrients given.
I feel responsible even though I know I have done everything I can. A wise person said to me that some puppies are not compatible with life. I know this intellectually but not emotionally.
I hate that I had to take you through this journey. I hate that I am still taking you through it. All other pups are thriving. One has to celebrate life too.
A part of me wishes she passed now so Spirit didn't get so frantic and I do not live with this sense of knowing it is anytime. Selfish? It is rare that I have to go through this. Watching a pup that is now not crawling or any fight in them is downright overwhelming and unfortunately it is me that carries the weight and Dennis at night. My emotional level is at such a point that I feel like vomiting from the stress. I am crying off and on. It is a process but its not about me. I feel responsible for Spirit that I brought into this with good intentions and with the pup.
So, do I think she will rally? Doubtful.
Darlah
Reader Comments (1)
We are heartbroken for all of you and for Spirit. Wishing you strength and resolve as you guide this little one on her journey.