Lessons Learned - A Mark in Life
Wednesday, December 1, 2010 at 7:44AM 
Yesterday, in the pouring rain I had to take Whitney in to get put down. She hadn’t been eating for several days and she was vomiting. She was down to 48 lbs. That is very tiny for a golden. She had lost 20lbs. All the way there I had to listen to her choking and trying to breath. It was one of the hardest and it felt the longest trips. Mixed that in with the last time I went to the vet we had lost a puppy – our 2 ouncer that wasn’t meant to be. The other I was supplementing gained 3 ounces since we started eating food – oh my. She is almost 2lb at 4.3 days. She will be fine. Save one, not another. One was meant to be and the other not, I suppose.
We all arrive at the rainbow bridge eventually. Intellectually you know this. Your heart still breaks. Whitney was an exercise as lessons learned. She taught me to be more patient, understanding, to go for it despite everyone saying she will never be more than a broken fearful dog. I can’t begin to tell you how many trainers told us just to love her and it will never be better. They were wrong. It took walking her next to traffic 8 times a day and walking by that dog on the other side of the fence and peeing on couches and not getting angry – just getting a new couch and putting waterproof coverings on it – just understanding fear and having a strong desire to release her from those constraints. On and on she had so many issues and we are not give up people. When she stopped walking 2 years ago Nathan took her in the pool several times a day and exercised her legs. She began to walk again.
She transformed into a happy dog and I am pleased that she graced me with learning about fears, how to eradicate them by slow conditioning and what true unconditional love is about.
There will never be another quite like her but her memories and lessons will remain for a lifetime. I am better due to her. We are all better if we allow our dawgs to teach us what we often don't take the time to learn.
Life is too busy...too hard...too everything but they live in the moment and a broken dog can become whole with love and patience and time. Maybe if we took 5 minutes each day to connect with someone else's fears, feelings, loss etc something special would happen to us.
We would suddenly be better than if we didn't take the time. Life is memories to treasure. You can choose to make them special or not. Life sometimes gets in the way but suddenly you arrive at your own rainbow bridge without leaving a mark. Now that's the real crime.
Breathe... get past your own issues and connect and care and love with your dawg - with your family, your partner etc. Life is too short not to and what is the alternative? You will mourn missed moments.
We have so many memories and if I had to say what created that glint in her eye that you would see here and there – it was the puppies. She LOVED them so. It was as if they transformed her.
Allow your dawgs and your loved ones to transform you. They are worth it! All you have to do is try and want to.
I think I have had all but an hour of sleep quite literally. I took her bowl out to feed her and then put it away. I am beyond sad.
Reader Comments (3)
How sad it is for others when we reach that rainbow bridge. Fortunately Whitney recieved love and understanding from you. But she gave you precious memories that will last forever. Right now you are touched by sadness and I am sure some anger that her time had come. In time those memories will lighten your heart. From the first time Katie entered our house, I wondered how I would meet that moment. I still find myself dreading the moment but have recieved so much love from her. When I sit too long at the computer, she gets a squicky toy and makes noises until I stop and spend a few minutes playing with her. She is such a funny dog. She will retrieve two or three times and then want to play with my hands. She loves it when I tap her paw and then she tries to get mine. It is not about bitting but more about making contact. I love having her in my life and try to always remember to treasure the time spent with her.
Let us hope time will heal your broken heart and you will be left with just happy memories.
A deep breath of sadness and understanding. I was so sorry to read of your day saying goodby to Whitney. Losing a friend,human or animal is most difficult,painful too. The joy comes in their memories,the goodness shown to others, their uniqueness. I do believe there will be joyous reuenion one day of those who were and are part of our lives. Hugs to you and your family.
Thank you....truly!